Let's Make A Plan

Last night was craaazy. haha  I drank so much last night.

I was really happy with myself too. I hadn't eaten anything during the day and had a garden burger with a few fries at Red Robin and it was all 422. [thank you CalorieKing.com] So I'm pretty happy that I kept all food under 500 cals for the day.

I feel like I haven't been doing as well. I haven't really been counting and keeping track of how much I'm eating. And I'm not really following any plan. I know I said that I'm gonna go 2468 but I haven't really been sticking/following it.

At this point, I'm trying to see how long I can go not eating during the day and then how little I can eat for dinner or whatever. Actually a bad idea. I need something concrete that I can follow.

I do like the 500 cals max during the day. But I don't know. I'm thinking of trying ABC again. I did do pretty well for almost 2 weeks. Then had like a 3 or 4 day binge which was fucking awful.

Like I said, so far I guess I'm doing pretty well but I could be doing better.

hm...The more I think about it, the more I want to do ABC. So I'm gonna do it. I'll start tomorrow since I don't really know how many cals I've eaten already, even though it's pretty low.

Good luck girls! Think thin and be beautiful!!
xo

Feel Like Flying

I took like 3 Adderal last night so I could study like crazy for this huge final I had this morning. I'm like crazy energized, I feel amazing and I haven't eaten anything in like 12  hours.
It helped too. I passed my exam :D So yay.

Today not much else is going on. I decided to stay at school tonight so that I can get a safety audit paper finished which is due next week. Then home tomorrow, hopefully with a ton of stuff from my dorm room.
I just wanna get as much done as possible, while I'm still feeling like this, cuz I know I'll actually do it.
Funny how certain drugs do shit like that for you haha

It's one of the girls in my hallway's last night before she leaves to do a study abroad in China so we're all going to the local bar to celebrate and let loose. Should be fun. I'm such a hermit so it'll be a nice change to actually be social. lol

Hope all you girlies are doing well too!! Keep it up, think thin, and be beautiful!
xo

Here We Go

Alright. Now I have a plan in order to get my ass in gear.
I'm going to start 2468 tomorrow. I also decided to kinda do an apple detox at the same time. I'm thinking of focusing on a certain fruit or low cal food for each cycle. So, for this first one, i'm thinking of mostly just eating apples. I figure this will definitely keep me under every single cal limit, be a good detox, and it'll be much easier for me to follow.
I think that's my issue right now, is the long term thing. If I can focus on 5 days and just certain types of food, I can nail it.
I am going to do the  ABC again at some point. Probably after a few cycles of this or once I leave to go out to sea.

I will definitely be able to do it out on the ship. I'm pretty much going to eat only fruit and salads anyway because the food is awful on the school's ship.  The only bummer though is that I won't have internet at all and can't come on here and PT to talk and keep up with support.

I'll still write and all because it definitely helps but it really would be nice if I could read other people's and see how you girls are doing.

But yup, that's my plan. Starting tomorrow. Wish me luck and I'll def let you all know how it goes.
Hope all is well for you girls.
Keep it up and stay strong!! xo

OMG This is Getting Retarded

Ok so I got really drunk and high last night. And pretty much ended up eating a whole 12" homemade pizza myself.

So. Fucking. Disgusting.

I purged like 4 time yesterday. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I was doing so well on ABC but now I physically can't stick to it.
I need to switch it up. So I've been going through the diet threads on PT. I'm thinking of doing the apple detox. Or the 2468. I need something that has short term goals but that can be done over and over.

I can't believe how out of hand this is getting. I really can't. Not only do I feel like such a pig and a fatass but I feel like I'm letting all of you down and being such a disappointment. Kind of like we're all in this together but  I'm just screwing it up.
So that's the new plan. A new diet that has cycles. I can do it. I will do it.

Updates later. Good luck girls. xo

Day 11 - 150 (or not....)

Soooo...yah. I fucked up again. Second day in a row that I've just binged/purged. Actually twice today. This is absolutely disgusting. I am disgusting.
Tomorrow is only supposed to be 200 cals but I'm just going to fast. For real this time. I'm in class all day and I have so much to work on after classes too.
This is getting ridiculous, I have better control than this. I know that I can do it but I'm just choosing not to and it's so fucking stupid.
Grrrr.....
I'll update for tomorrow. Let you all know how it's going. Hopefully much better than today and yesterday.

Damnit....

Yah sooo today was fucking awful. I totally binged all day. And purged. Just shitty. I'm fasting all day tomorrow. Probably the next day too. This is stupid and shouldn't be happening. I didn't even care. It was like I just kept looking for something to snack on, even though I kept telling myself I needed to stop.
[sigh] And it wasn't even like I didn't have self-control. I could've stopped. I just chose not to. Which is stupid!! grrrrrr.
So yah, I totally fucked up today. Hopefully I can fix it tomorrow....

Hope you girls are doing better than me.
xo

Day 9 -- 500 cals

Today was day 2 of weekend watch. I actually did really well, I'm kinda pumped. I didn't eat anything for breakfast, just went right to sleep. I woke up at 11:30 and worked some more on my projects and played some Zelda :D then I went back to watch at 3:30 until 7:30.



Here's the food rundown::
2 double-stuff oreos (140)
3 whole almonds (21), 1 dried pineapple (32), 2 dried apricot slices (16)
5 baby carrots (20), few grams of broccoli (8), 4 slices cucumber (5), 1 tbsp italian dressing (43) and 4 bites green beans (15)

TOTAL:: 280 cals!!

I know tomorrow's supposed to be a fast but I'm going to my bf's house to do some laundry and hang out before I have to go back to watch. I know he's gonna want to go out [hopefully for sushi!] so I'm going to count this as another 500 day at the most.
I think I'll just fast tomorrow.

Hope all of you are doing well. Stay beautiful!
xo