Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Everything is Falling Apart

Which is exactly how I feel. Hashed it out with my boyfriend the other night. Shit has just been bad and I got to my breaking point. He says it's only because I realized how serious he was. Serious about what, I'm not really sure. He didn't say but I think I knew what he was driving at. He claims that we let this whole thing go too far and now it can't be resolved. When I asked him what we do then, if there is no resolving it, he never answered. Again, I knew what he was getting at but he would never say it out loud.

Supposedly, in the land of "we don't talk about it", everything's ok and we're ok. But I went over to his house last night and noticed a few things:
- Either he has bad aim or he's not kissing me straight on on purpose [I don't think it's the first]
- He doesn't touch me unless it's to fake hit me or put his fingers in my face. I tried to snuggle with him last night in bed and he usually puts his arm around me. Not last night.

So that hopefully feeling I woke up with is gone. I'm once again depressed which means I'm not going to want to do anything but of course I'm going to make myself. Only bright side is I won't eat anything.
Fuck this.
I really wanted to say something to him this morning when I left. But of course I didn't, I just wanted to get out of the house as soon as possible.

When will everything be ok