Friday, December 25, 2009


So tonight was the 2nd family dinner and there's gonna be another one tonight, I think.

I've been trying to take small portions and not gorge myself on baked goods. Right now I'm just fluctuating between 108 and 109. I was 109.4 this morning and I haven't weighed myself again yet. I guess this is't too bad...especially since I got so many "Look how skinny you are!!" as well as "Ohmigod, you're way too skinny! Are you losing weight???"

My mom actually questioned me about my weight this afternoon, saying that I'm too skinny and if I'm losing, I need to stop. Whatever. I just laughed and said that I'm still around 115.

These past couple days, especially today, I've just kept telling myself that I'll be on the ship soon and I'll have 2 months of shitty food I won't even want to look at. And then I imagine all the weight I will be able to lose and I calm down a bit.

But still, I need to get this nasty, gross fat off me!!! And all this food [like a cinnamon spice crumb cake or a peanut butter pie] definitely isn't helping and I have a completely freakout in my head after I eat it.
I've actually thrown up a bit in my mouth by reflex and partly from panicking about all the calories and shit.

One more more day..... Then it's New Years but we don't do dinner, just hor d'ourves and booze.

Hope you girls are doing well, keep it up, we can get past this!!! Just a few more days and we'll be free of massive amounts of food! lol
Love you all, xo

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas!!!