Thursday, December 17, 2009

So today's supposed to be 100....

...And I'm a disgusting fatass who definitely ate more than 100 cals today. WTF. 

Weight so far is 112. Yah it's good and lower than 113 but still.... it could be lower. SHOULD be lower. 
Fasting tomorrow until my mom comes home from work. I'm sure they're going to want to go out to eat or something. I'm gonna try to keep them home or stay home, tell them I already ate or something like that. We'll see. 

I don't know that the hell is wrong with me. When I fist did ABC, I did so well. I had pretty good will power but now I don't know where the fuck it went. I NEED to fix this, I need to lose this weight. Like I said, I'm going to try and fast for as long as possible. We'll see. 

[sigh] I hate this. It's really bumming me out, and I just want to cry. I feel like nothing I do works and I can't even stick with one damn thing. Tomorrow's 200 cals and I feel like even if I don't eat anything all day that I'll still fuck it up. 

I need to do this, I NEED TO. 

[sigh] I really hope you're all doing much better than I am. Keep it up girls. xo