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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Let's Fast, Bitches.


Ok so this is the plan until Dec. 24th::

I've decided that I'm going to be part of a competition on PT but I've also joined a community fast.  The plan is to fast with these lovely ladies until Dec. 24, which is perfect because that's the day of my huge family party but it doesn't really start  until that evening.

I'm so excited. And I know you all must be thinking "OK....we've heard that one before". But really I am, because a) it's a short timeline b) i'm doing it with a group aaaand c) I'm pretty much all by myself, all day so I can do whatever I want without anyone bothering or questioning me.
Yay!

I'm just so tired of binging and purging constantly. It's getting really bad, to where I'm forcing myself to throw up 3 to 4 times a day, sometimes more. And I can tell it's fucking up my teeth, they hurt so much now.

So there's the plan.
When I start to feel a craving or binge, I'm gonna get my ass out of the house and do some more errands. Or I'll finish trimming the dog, cleaning the house, emptying my car, packing my shit for sea term, run on the treadmill, go outside for a smoke.

That is one thing I'm a bit worried about. Smoking is such a bad habit but I've noticed it does work. So we'll see. I definitely can't let my parents know that I do because they'd absolutely murder me. My grandmother's been smoking since she was 20 and has been in and out of the hospital for lung cancer, breathing problems, you name it.

Anyhow. So that's it. The plan until Xmas Eve. It will work. positive, positive, positive. I will, I will, I will.
And I found some more amazing thinspo which always inspires me.



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